Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
We have a big goal ahead of us and it’s easy to get consumed by all the planning and anticipation. We’re all dedicated, strong ladies looking to kick some serious ass, but we also have to keep some perspective. We can’t spend EVERY waking moment outside of work (or during work) thinking, talking, and planning Denali. However, it’s kind of felt like that lately. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love this project! I mean I can’t truly express how stoked I am that I am a part of The Denali Girls! It gives me focus, gives me a goal to work toward and I love every minute! We all need “Denalis” in our lives. However, we also have to strike a balance between the “project” and the rest of our lives.
The other day I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I spoke with my dad on the phone, or my sister for that matter (sorry dad and Michelle!). Not good. I immediately sent them texts in effort to schedule a time where we could actually talk and catch up. Between two jobs, training, planning, and stressing over gear choices, I found myself getting a little too caught up in my obligations (work and Denali-related things) and not spending enough time on my personal life (family and friends) outside of our project. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been making an effort to make time for people, so it’s not that anyone has really been neglected, it’s just easy to let these relationships slide if you’re not paying attention.
Part of the reason our planning and training has been so successful is due to the people outside of our climbing team. All of you have been amazing! We are so thankful to have so many people be so supportive of our goal. From lending us gear and endlessly talking about food choices and sled modifications to offering words of encouragement and just flat out being stoked for us. We appreciate all of it! That being said, it’s important that we show everyone how much we appreciate these things by staying connected. That means calling our parents and siblings, dedicating time to spend with significant others, making time for our friends, and keep the blog posts rolling.
It’s good to have a big project that challenges you and gives you something to work toward, just don’t get tunnel vision and let the project consumer your every waking minute.
Every part of preparing for our Denali climb has been a revelation, and some of those revelations have been more satisfying (or more aggravating) than others. As I ran past my still-not-yet-unpacked gear piles (from Sunday night – eek) on the way to work this morning, I ruminated on the highs and the lows of a big project like Denali.
My Top Ten Highs (“…these are a few of my favorite things!”)
1. Feeling, getting, and being stronger. Exercise is such a funny thing in our society – if you chalk it up to “work,” or pick something tedious (cough, stationary bike, cough), exercise can be so unbelievably unpleasant. Just another thing to do, like cleaning the toilet or unclogging a shower drain, and anticipated about as much. But if you can re-frame exercise, view it as part of your life, relish the endorphins (that happy little post-exercise buzz it generates), and can dwell on what it gives you (a bit more definition in the shoulder and bicep, more visible musculature around the neck, or the slight ripple of muscle in your thigh as you take a confident step uphill) it can bring you so much joy. I get such pleasure out of feeling strong.
2. Simple movements. My sprained ankle was a liability this month, but it also opened up a whole new range of movement, and a long list of ways to expand on the movements I would otherwise be doing. Swimming for cardio when my ankle couldn’t bear weight turned out to be an unanticipated adventure, and the movement a pleasure – the long stretch to reach as far as possible forward and then push the water behind me, the zen of stroke, stroke, breath. I’ve decided to keep a short swimming workout in the mix and have been doing it after my upper body workout, and relishing that movement.
And it turns out that this simple pleasure in movement is not unique to me – the New York Times carried a recent feature on how mindfulness – finding and focusing on simple movements can help people get more out of their workouts, and enjoy them more. You can read more here.
3. Discovering (and rediscovering) new ways to train. Both lifting and stair-climbing come to mind. I have never relished traditional weight training and lifting, but our team spent a long Sunday at Leigh Ann’s Crossfit gym, dragging “sleds” with weight around and practicing safe lifting movement, and it has become fun (and a good test of my commitment) to build that into my workouts (pairing it with swimming helps!)
Stair-climbing has been much the same. We have a notably lengthy set of stairs near our house, and it is a small joy to get out there in the early morning and walk the stairs for an hour. Part meditation, part pilgrimage.
4. Teamwork. Like exercise, there is so much work, and as a result so much joy, to be found in working together to become a team. We spent last weekend in the mountains and took a break on Sunday to work through a bunch of possible scenarios that could arise and present challenges on the mountain, and although those conversations will often be hard, the satisfaction in reaching a mutually agreeable consensus is perhaps unrivaled.
5. Friendship. I have plans to write a post on what actually happened on the day the other Girls walked down from Rainier after Search and Rescue had been called, but there’s a lot to be said and I am still sorting through how best to write it. But when the Ranger was interviewing me about the other girls he said something like “I understand you’re friends with one of the missing climbers?” and I bristled. “I’m friends with all of them!”
I think we four lady climbers have been friends from the start in part because we knew one another through being a part of the same community (and deeply appreciating what it has given us), but friendship grows through shared experiences, trials and tribulations.
Around 3pm on Saturday we realized the snow platform we had built for our tents wasn’t adequate for the sizeable footprint of the Hilleberg Keron 3 tent we are bringing, and would need to quickly build a second platform to fit both. Tones began to change slightly, and each of us got perhaps a bit more short in our utterances, when Jenn suddenly pivoted and headed toward her backpack. “I am feeling a little bit cranky and am realizing I need to have a snack and drink some water!” she announced, and then offered some of her snack up so that we all would do the same. I wanted to hug her, because that was exactly what was needed by all, and she demonstrated both friendship and leadership in that moment.
6. Community. I’ve said this before and I will say it again (and again, and again) but I love being a part of the climbing community here in Seattle,and have relished the way we have felt supported by our peers. I don’t know if we will succeed in reaching the summit on Denali, but if we do it will be because of the assistance, support, and guidance of dozens of big-hearted, bad-ass, and totally rad people.
7. Recovery. Good god am I proud of my ankle recovery! This past Sunday was 4 weeks since I wiped out on the ice at Denny Creek, and the weekend was the first time I have been outside, climbing, with a pack on in as long, and it felt pretty darn good! This is the first time I have ever followed my PT and doctor’s counsel to the letter, and doing the physical therapy movements on a daily basis, and stretching and icing and not overdoing it once I started to feel better, has been satisfying. It’s not 100% yet, but it took a pounding this weekend, and hung in there. Being an active participant in and taking responsibility for my ankle recovery has been gratifying.
8. The joy of being intensely busy. Having an all-consuming, life-shaping side project has been a revelation. All of my time outside of work (and during my lunch break) is informed by our Denali climb, and the things we need to do to be prepared. I do logistics over lunch, make phone calls before heading for the bus, read about training and the climb itself on my commute, do PT on and against and using the couch when I get home. All (and I do mean all) of my disposable income (and some of my non-disposable income, aka credit) is dedicated to the climb right now. Anytime I have $50 extra in my week, it goes towards a gear purchase, as I lump together lists of the little things we need and buy them all at once to get free shipping! Anytime I sell a piece of clothing or jewelry through consignment, I do the same. I’m working every pro-deal that is accessible to me, and we as a group are reaching out to everyone we know in the outdoor industry for help and support. Before and after work I work out, and when I leave work I take the shipped items that have arrived back home with me. Even my relationship is structured around the climb – Tuesday and Thursday nights (and a long list of weekends) are devoted to group trainings, and Ed knows those are the most ideal days to go off and do his Ed things, while I sweat my way up stairs, or a mountain. Everything is about the climb, and that’s both a good and a bad thing – but the good part is about staying busy, and creating something together with my team.
9. Kitchen Cabinet-ing with Ed. A long time ago I came across a story about Andrew Jackson, who for reasons of political infighting eventually stopped relying on his official Cabinet for support and counsel, and began instead relying on an informal one, made up of trusted advisors and friends. Since Ed is also a climber and has himself climbed Denali, it has been a lot of fun (and oftentimes quite reassuring) to be able to head home at the end of a long weekend and talk through some of the challenges and questions that have arisen, and have him act as a sounding board and provide his own input as we Girls work towards a solution that is appropriate for our team. Each of us has our own Kitchen Cabinet in our lives – whether best friends, partners, or other climbing partners – and sharing the experience of preparing for the Denali climb with someone who cares about you and is rooting for your success is an immensely satisfying experience.
10. The Satisfaction of Working Towards Big Goals. This one is self-explanatory. You know all those cheesy “live your life” type adages and inspirational quotes that get circulated on Facebook (including by yours truly?) One of my very favorite parts of this, is that we’re actually doing it. We set a really high (truly, elevationally, high!) goal, a high bar for success, and are working towards it. And our goal is to accomplish something that not many people ever do. And that even fewer women do. And that even fewer women do without the participation of men on their team! How cool is that?! When I tire of planning or training or reading or worrying about what we’ll eat on the mountain, I think about that. And then I wonder about what will make for a suitable next big goal. If we can do this, what else might we be capable of?
…Tomorrow – My Top Ten Kinda Sorta Really Not My Most Favorite Things…!